How much leeway can you give to a place like the newly opened 5th Amendment in Santa Monica that is in such a nascent state, that you’re inconvenienced? It delivered on the beer and sausages, but not much else. Is it too early to judge?
My friend Andy and I visited 5th Amendment, nearly two weeks after its soft opening. I had figured on a few hiccups in the service or atmosphere, but was surprised when I walked right past the place because the Evergreen Ale House signage was still up. Um, excuse me? At least obscure the sign with some posterboard and hire a Trader Joe’s signage artist for the day to come up with a temporary replacement. (The red strikeout is obviously my clumsy Photoshopping.)
A few other signs that 5th wasn’t quite up to speed yet: Credit cards weren’t accepted that night (luckily we both had a wad of cash with us), and the menus were simple computer printouts stuck into plastic insert sleeves.
The menu, despite its slipshod appearance, was a delight to read with its editoral commentary. The llama burger included a note that it was popular in Peru around AD 1430. Well, it doesn’t specify if it was llamas, llama meat or llama burgers that were popular at that point, but hey, I’m just a stickler. And apparently, according to the menu, the grain fed beef burger had a good life in Montana. I don’t know if this into is supposed to soothe or prick your conscience, but I hope these little touches survive in the new official menu.
I’ll admit that the real draw for me to try out 5th Amendment was its llama burger, which is touted on its website’s tagline: “20-Taps, Craft Bottles, Artisanal Sausage, Llama Burger.”
I have no idea why I’m on a quest to try every exotic meat out there. Perhaps it’s the hope of a new “favorite” discovery, or perhaps I have this semi-masochistic streak in which I feel the need to come to terms with loving animals but not being vegetarian. Anyway, llamas are damn cute. I mean, look at that face.
Once the burger was delivered to me on the ubiquitous blue-checkered paper, however, it just became meat. Dry meat. I wasn’t asked what temperature I wanted my burger, but I decided to let the chef make the call. Llama is similar enough to bison — lean and somewhat dry — that I know I won’t be hankering for this particular burger again. Llama? Check. Next.
Happy Hour that night was extended till closing and included $3 beers and $3 sausages. I didn’t want any of the beers or sausages that qualified (damn my attraction for the exotic or novel!), but Andy enjoyed his $3 Shocktop White. I was thrilled with my Mama’s Little Yella Pils(ner) draught. I don’t have a sophisticated beer vocabulary or palate yet (my gut is working on it), but I found it crisp and somewhat fruity. I switched to a Mission Blonde kolsch later, and instantly regretted it. Sorry, Mama.
Exotic, artisanal sausages are the new fancy cupcake. It’s just a matter of time before an artisanal sausage food truck revs up. Perhaps Let’s Be Frank will expand its repertoire.
All the sausages looked pretty similar, topped with sauerkraut. Condiments were offered by our server. We Solomoned, aka split in half, each (a techniqued learned from watching hot dog competitive eaters) so we could taste each one:
Rabbit and veal with white wine and herbs – juicy and plump, what I wanted my dessicated rabbit and rattlesnake sausage at Wurstkuche to be
Elk with wine – richer in flavor, peppery
Pheasant with cognac – another light but succulent treat
We couldn’t find any fries on the menu. How is this possible at a place that serves beer lacks the most basic of bar foods? We resorted to the “basic” cheese plate (half the price of the “fancy” cheese plate) for additonal noshing. A nice selection, but not enough crackers.
I must have been trying to soak up the drunk at this point since I wanted to try the dessert: hot molasses cookies with a vanilla ice cream and dark chodolate syrup in a “stylish” bowl. Unless country is considered stylish, especially paired with plastic spoons, I think the description raises expectations. The cookies were soft, moist and chewy, but were only marginally better than the generic ice cream.
Although I didn’t stick to the Happy Hour menu, everything we ate was still affordable enough for the cash I had on hand, with a little help from my roll of quarters. I’m classy like that.
Overall, for the neighborhood, 5th Amendment is an incredibly good deal: good sausages and beers for a reasonable price. The atmosphere is uber casual, and the waitstaff was more than just polite, chit-chatting in a friendly, uncalculated way despite how packed the little place was.
That being said, I probably won’t be back unless I was invited by a friend. The food was solid, but not great, and I don’t live near enough for this to become an everyday hangout.
The Fifth Amendment Alehouse
129 Broadway
Santa Monica, CA 90401
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Why didn’t you specify how you wanted your llama burger cooked? I’m all about medium rare.
Ha! Me too! Medium or medium rare for me!
But, with a new meat, I usually go with what the chef wants since I’m not sure of the proper temperature. I know that chicken must be cooked through, but duck can be rarer, etc. So llama? Yeah … had no clue.
That llama PiP is too funny (& cute)!
I KNEW you’d like my llama friend!
I love it!
I won’t rush out and start gnawing on the next llama I see, but reading this definitely made me feel more adventurous about food. Thanks!
Angie,
How many llamas do they have in Texas? Hmm, I imagine stuff like gator and possum should be around though. Bat???